That a soul who has so much to live for and wants desperately to survive illness to see their family grow up, yet feels torn apart by that struggle and is haunted by the desire to take their own life so that the fear and torment ends.
I wrote this poem originally for one of my friends who desperately wanted to understand the depression of those around her. It is my eternal hug of strength to her. Depression is an illness that affects even those who are not not depressed themselves. Those people need support too because it is hard to know what to do when you cannot begin to reason a way forward.
Just having the strength to stay the course, be patient and listen, over and over again. Know when to leave someone alone, when not to, when to talk and when to be silent. It can be torture to a desperate heart who wants only to help. For all those who try, this is for you.
Who hide in smiles their unmouthed prayer
Of gloved emotion, raw and stained
With blood soaked tears of hope that waned.
How silently your whispers grow,
To flood the ears of souls who know,
That from your tide they're doomed to drown,
With each gaze up, you drag them down.
Not to a depth that sees no light,
Nor ignores the pain of others' plight,
But swallows sorrows as if their own,
Til self sown prisons are overgrown,
With helpless vines that twist through hearts
And knots all hope before it starts,
Though love surrounds the ones who cry,
That voice inside will never die,
That one day soon they will not wake,
Hear not the pleas that others make,
In desperate love, to fire their soul,
For despair's inferno has no control.
Though perfect days of joy and bliss,
Can visit yet and send their kiss
Of happy tears, of sheer delight,
Still yet cruel thoughts do come at night,
To hunt all hope of happy years
Ahead, instead replaced by tears
That cry inside but seldom show,
Respect not logic, and will not go.
No matter if the sun's rays share,
And fortune favours all that's theirs,
A wound un-found is hard to heal,
Spirits so crushed refuse to feel
That future's dance reserves their place,
That life will e'er forgive with grace,
And yet it will, it can and should;
Depression never goes for good.
Heart's prisoned chains were locked by them,
It is within the cruel keys stem,
With patient wings they'll find what's lost,
Would you dare to stay, at any cost?
For they do not wish to leave your side,
To lose their hope, to run and hide,
But time is what their sorrow needs,
To heal the holes that sadness bleeds.
Do not despair, show them the way,
Lend patient prayers in every day,
And they will try, though the climb is steep,
To banish gravesides where loved ones weep.